Last week, I started participating in the Fitmixer Bootcamp. On Monday, I shared with you my first workouts – the fit test – as well as brief summary of the program. In addition to the workouts and nutritional advice I am receiving, I participate in weekly webcasts and occasionally receive an “assignment”. This week’s assignment was to write a love letter to myself – as a way to embrace a healthier self-image. As a woman who battled a negative self-image for years and a horrific eating disorder, I know how important it is to have a positive self-image. In the daily grind, I think we all lose sight of how truly amazing we are – so I am writing this letter to remind (and hopefully others) that each of us is wonderful!
I should have put my words into written form long ago – but fear, uncertainty, and worry have held me back from saying what I desire most to tell you. (Deep breath) You see, Kim, I love you. Yes, you!
I know it is hard to believe that fact since I have treated you so horribly in the past. I have labeled you horrible things – ugly, fat, unworthy. I have abused – by working out to extremes, starving you, bingeing excessive amounts of food, and subjecting you to 5 years of a hellish eating disorder.
And what did you do for me in return… you gave me nothing but good things. You, Kim, amazing body/person that you are allowed me to fall in love with a wonderful man, for 9 months you nurtured my daughter within you, then you quickly recovered from her cesarean delivery so that I could care for her. The legs that I called “jiggly” and “fat” showed their strength by carrying me thru not 1 but 2 5K races and walked 60 miles in 3 days to raise awareness for breast cancer. The arms that I have often referred to as “spindles”, “sticks”, and “nasty” hug my husband each day, allow me to rock my daughter to sleep each night, and hold the hands of the friends and family I love so dearly.
Oh Kim, I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to see just how marvelous you truly are. Please forgive me and know that I do love you to the depths of my soul. I vow to treat you with nothing but respect from this point forward. I know that we have an amazing future ahead of us.