On Thursday, I wrote this post. In it, I shared that I had decided not to compete in a figure competition at this time – due to the fact that the time required for training was negatively impacting my family.
And then Friday came.
I spent the majority of my day in teleconferences – away from my telephone, my computer, or any other source of news. Finally, around 3:00 p.m., I pulled up CNN for a quick look at the news.
And that’s when I learned of the horrible, unspeakable, shocking tragedy in Newtown, CT.
I wept as I read the reports of the gruesome scene at the school.
I wept as the victim count kept rising.
I wept as I thought of those families who were waiting in agonizing fear to learn if their child was a victim.
I wept on the drive home from my office as I listened to news reports filling in the details.
I wept when I held my daughter in my arms.
For most of the weekend, the normal rules at our house went out the window. I let Joycie have dessert before dinner, stay up late, eat cookies for breakfast, and do a few other things that were not part of our normal routine.
I was just so grateful that my child was alive, happy, healthy and whole.
I also stepped away from the blog for the past few days. I devoted that time to loving on my family – taking my MIL out to dinner for her birthday, having my nieces over for a playdate, cuddling on the couch with my husband, and watching cartoons with Joycie.
I still worked out. I still ate healthy. But I had no desire to blog about it. It seemed so trivial – my desire to lose weight – when compared with the loss of 28 lives – 20 of those innocent children.
But just as the people of Newtown, CT have to return to life – so do I. So the blog will be back up and running as usual starting today. However, I will blog from a new perspective, with a new appreciation for each day that I am given.
I will send my daughter to daycare this morning – believing and trusting that she will be safe. But I have no guarantees. So I take comfort in knowing that should I ever receive a call that NO parent should get, I have shown my daughter that she is loved and cherished.
And perhaps that is the bright spot in the midst of such darkness.
That we as individuals – and hopefully as a nation – are being reminded to love those around us with intensity and to show that love daily.