The last time I blogged I had a plan. I was mapping out my daily lunches, creating meal plans for our family dinners, and vowing to train hard as to improve my 5K time.
I was riding high and feeling great.
And then I came crashing DOWN.
I can say that I got busy….and that’s true.
I can say that I felt tired and run down……. and that’s true.
I can say that I was more focused on getting thru the day than making smart choices…. and that’s true.
But the real truth is – I just stopped caring.
I had spent nearly a year trying to lose 20 pounds – running, lifting weights, eating Paleo, trying workout plan after workout plan – and saw little success. I kept telling myself that it was hormones, or my thyroid, or my body being weird. The truth of the matter is I’ve been phoning it in for 365 days.
Once I moved past my eating disorder, I made living a healthy lifestyle a priority. I ate well, worked out, and really took care of myself. But living a healthy lifestyle is filled with difficult choices. It is choosing to get up at 5:00 a.m. for your workout rather than hitting the snooze button. It is choosing to spend time meal planning, shopping for quality ingredients and preparing healthy meals. It is choosing to turn off the t.v. and skip the season finale of The Walking Dead so that you can get 8 hours of sleep.
And my inner brat was sick and tired of making the right choices all the time. So she decided that I could just do the right things…some of the time. And some of the time soon became more and more infrequently.
And after a year of half-arsed efforts, I thought “I sick of this. Let’s just live!”. I wanted to eat the chocolate, skip the workouts, hit the snooze button, and stop worrying about the scale, what my blog readers would say, or how my fitness goals stacked up to those of other bloggers.
So I did.
And I hated it.
After nearly a month of living life at the other end of the spectrum, I realize that I enjoy eating cleanly, I find pleasure in my workouts, and that phoning it in or not caring at all is NOT who I am or what I want to do..
So I’m back. However, instead of trying to find that 1 great workout plan or the 1 magic diet that will change my body forever, I’m going back to the basics. Or at least the lifestyle choices that made me feel my best.
1 aerobics class per week
3 runs per week
3 lifting sessions with my husband per week
Taking my lunch to work
Eating dinners at home that were Paleo or Paleo-inspired.
And while this list may seem daunting, reading it leaves me feeling more energized and excited about the future than I have in quite some time.
I’m ready now…let’s do this!